Arrival at Goodwood |
We had raised a good amount of money in Marathon 12, I think people really felt for me and the support team out in the rain, so we were up and over the £4,000 mark and on track for the £5,000 target by the end of the challenge in a few weeks’ time.
In the run up to the marathon it was Grief Awareness Week and I was reminded by my work with Sands of giving space and giving a voice to bereaved families – I wrote a blog for the Institute of Health Visiting
I’ve been struck recently how in society we’ve begun to move on from the taboo of talking about death and in particular the death of a baby. Maybe this is through necessity given the current crisis we are living in. I’ve found that people are more open to talking about their grief journeys, be that The Duchess of Sussex, Chrissy Tiegen or other public figures, or those closer to home.
A few days before the marathon it was Malachi’s 8th birthday. Malachi, the son of our friends Rob and Karen, sadly died at birth in December 2012, and their reflections on his birthday earlier in the week reminded me exactly why I do the job I do and why I run the race I am running. We long to see the numbers of babies dying at birth significantly reduce (the national target is to halve it from 5,000 a year (15 a day) by 2025), and to ensure high quality care and support for bereaved families. So I promised to dedicate this race to him and to his wonderful parents and older sisters who love him so dearly.
Training had gone well, with tapering down during the intervening weeks, sleeping well and carbing up in the last couple of days. I felt confident that I could break 4 hours again and maybe even go one better than the 3h57m from the Southampton rain festival in November. The weather looked cold but largely dry, and on a flat surface around the GP circuit I felt I could have a good go at the target. I had already committed to marathons 14 and 15 on consecutive weekends after Goodwood, three in three weekends, so I knew this was probably my chance to get an official PB ahead of two ‘virtual’ marathons around the streets of Hampshire once more.
The empty grandstands |
My friend Kev was also due to run the 10k but we travelled separately given the restrictions and I arrived at Goodwood with mixed feelings, delighted to run a ‘proper race’ but feeling a little subdued that the family weren’t there to cheer me on, and that Jayne was missing her race. As I got out of the car I was greeted with a biting wind, which really took the breath away, and forced me to make a decision about the protective clothing I would need to wear. I didn’t want to suffer the cold too much whilst waiting for the start but at the same time I didn’t want to overheat on the race itself. It was shorts on top of running leggings, two layers up top (three if you count the protective plasters ;-)) and gloves and a hat.
The car park was getting quite busy as I made my way over to the main circuit, under the racetrack to the main pavilion. There were lots of runners but everyone was being sensible and keeping their distance. A large number marshals were on hand to direct people but there was nowhere indoors to stay warm so it was a case of trying to keep walking to keep off the cold. I found a spot about 200m from the finish line to put my water and running gels so that I wouldn’t have to carry them with me. We were going to be running 11 laps so there was going to be plenty of opportunity to stop for them along the way.
It was great to bump into Chris, my fellow parkrun run director from Netley, seeing a running friend in the flesh at a race for the first time in months was both reassuringly familiar and bizarre at the same time.
The marathon runners were called forward to a 2-metre distanced warm-up and soon we were being ushered forward to the start line based on predicted finish time. One guy shuffled forward on the ‘2 hours 30’ call, and got a round of applause. That time isn’t far off Olympic qualifying time! I went forward on the 4 hour call and we lined up like Formula 1 cars on the grid. Every 10 seconds groups of 4 were set off, and we were go go go! We had to run away from the grandstand for a few hundred metres before taking a hairpin bend back to the start, which, together 11 full laps would total 26.2 miles.
I tried to make sure that for the first lap I kept the headphones off, just taking in the surroundings and familiarising myself with the track. It was sunny yet the wind was still biting, and I found that the first half of the track was a bit of a battle into the wind, but the second half was more than reasonable, especially when the sun was out. With a buff around my neck it was easy to adjust, pulling it up over my nose and ears on the outward half and pulling it back down on the inward.
Along the trackside were the mile markers, counting down to 1 mile, rather than the usual practice of counting upwards from 1 to 26! … of course it meant you saw the 8, 5, 2 mile markers even on your first lap, which was a little soul-destroying at times when you still had 20+ to go! Anyway I got into a rhythm pretty quickly; I was planning to run 9 minute miles or less for 20 miles and then do the last 10k in an hour, in order to break 4 hours. That was the plan at least. I realised I had gone out a bit faster than planned but it felt comfortable so I kept at a steady 8m40 pace for the first few miles. I passed the grandstand a couple of times and before I knew it 5 miles was down and I was bouncing along the tarmac enjoying the novelty of a ‘proper’ race. It was reasonably quiet on the track with the marathon runners spread out but soon we were joined by the quicker half-marathoners and then the 10k runners too, so it got busier. Of course you then get overtaken by the speed demons which can be a little disconcerting but you just keep reminding yourself to run your own race and nobody else’s, even if you’re getting overtaken frequently.
I pass the hour mark at 7 miles, a bit ahead of schedule, and grab my first gel from the side of the track. Arsene Wenger’s Desert Island Discs keeps me going for half an hour or so as does the hilarious BBC Radio 4 Comedy The Now Show (well worth a listen), and before I know it I’m halfway there in 1 hour 52, maybe 3 or 4 minutes ahead of plan, but feeling good. If I can keep the 9 minute miles going for a further 7 miles I feel I will break the 4 hours and maybe even break 3h57 which was the time I set in last month’s rain festival.
One of the vagaries of today’s race is seeing small aircraft and helicopters taking off from the field in the middle of the race track, but it helps take your mind off of the hard running to watch the planes soar into the distance and imagine where they are flying to as they climb over the South Downs and away.
As I approach the end of lap 6 of 11 I hear the familiar voice of Kev shouting me on from the grandstand; he has completed his 10k in a speedy time, which is great news. I call out to him that I’m over halfway and on track for a good time too.
As I approach the next bend I see the familiar sight of the long yellow running socks of my good friend and former colleague Tony. I had found out the night before that he was running the half marathon, so I’m glad I’ll have the chance to talk to him, briefly, if I can catch him at least! It takes the best part of a lap but as I approach him I see someone running next to him, coincidentally in a Sands vest! This is a real boost, so I catch them up and chat to both of them, it’s Peter from Portsmouth & Chichester Sands and it’s amazing to see him and chat for a few moments. He is running the 20 mile version today and is doing really well. So is Tony, and he later shares that he has smashed a half marathon PB. Tony will be joining me at the final marathon in a fortnight’s time to run the first few miles, and hopefully Peter will join us too along with other folk from Portsmouth & Chichester Sands as we run from Queen Alexandra hospital in Portsmouth to the Princess Anne Maternity Unit at Southampton General.
Tony's socks and Peter's back pack, both welcome sights |
On the next lap Kev gives me a quick call and we have a brief chat about his race, he is about to head home and I can’t blame him, I tell him there’s no point waiting around in the cold for another couple of hours for me to finish. He has been a constant source of encouragement all along the way of the challenge and has been around at every one of the marathons bar the one in Gloucester, so it’s great to see him even though it is for a fleeting moment. Jayne then gives me a quick call to check in on progress and it’s suddenly 17 miles down, only 9 to go.
When I get to 9 miles I always think that it’s just 3 parkruns to go, which is a bit of a milestone and feels a bit more manageable. I’ve resisted the temptation to put on any music as yet but this is a good time to get some beats going and to keep the adrenalin going, I find that some 1970s groove like Chic can often do the trick as well as some of Coldplay’s livelier tracks.
Around 20 miles I realise I am about 4-5 minutes ahead of schedule, so think that even if I drop to 10 minute miles for the last 6 miles I will still be on track for a big PB, so I just aim to keep it steady. However this is when the doubts come in, the breaths are getting heavier, each step is getting harder and all I want to do is stop on the side of the track. However the only place I seriously consider doing this happens to be in front of an ambulance and an emergency crew on standby, so I think this unwise in case I get scooped up and taken back to the start..! I keep telling myself to push on through and that it will all be worth it. Thoughts turn to Malachi and his family, and I remind myself of all the friends and family I have whose baby has died, sadly it’s a rather long list, but it spurs me on to keep going and to keep reminding myself why I am doing the challenge. Soon I’m at the finish line for one more lap, the MC encouraging us as we go past, and I’m determined to finish strongly.
The last lap is both the hardest and the easiest – hardest because the wind comes in really strongly with about a mile to go, almost taking your breath away, but the easiest in the sense that you know the end is nigh and a good time is on the cards. I keep pushing and eventually the finish line comes into view one last time. I push hard for a strong finish, I wouldn’t call it a sprint but it’s a good finish, overtaking a couple of runners just before the funnel but out-run by another guy who has the legs to sprint over the line.
I look down at the watch and can scarcely believe a time of 3.53.08!! I’ve taken almost 5 minutes off my PB and feel elated. It’s just so gutting that no friends or family are there to celebrate with me, but never mind, another marathon and another medal are safely in the bag, with more awareness and more funds raised! I bump into Chris and wish him well before I make my way over to the car.
I give Jayne and the kids a call and they are chuffed for me, then call Kev once I’m back at the car and in the warm. Getting out of the wind and into the warm car is almost as much of a win as the PB itself, it feels so good!
GP Medal to accompany the frostbitten beard |
There’s no point hanging around and I might as well get back on the road to get home to a bath and a beer, and start the short recovery phase, ready for Saturday’s Marathon number 14. This one will be ‘the story of my life’ as I run from my birthplace of Winchester hospital and through the villages where I grew up before running home.
Only a few months ago there’s no way I would’ve even thought about driving on marathon legs but I feel fine and it’s not long before I’m home and checking the JustGiving page. We’ve had a number of donations taking us up to around £4,500 which is really incredible. The next morning I receive the most amazing surprise as an extremely generous donation on top of everyone else’s kind donations has taken up and over the £5,000 mark. Mission accomplished. Thank you to each and every one of you who has supported the challenge.
This is a great way to start another week of working at Sands, and it’s not long before I’m deep in work discussions, being reminded of the real reason that I run these races by reading some of the stories of Sands families. On Monday afternoon I make an online presentation about bereavement care to the MPs who initially asked Sands to set up the project I’ve had the privilege of managing for the last 4 years.
The 15 marathon challenge has been about pushing myself to the limit, to achieve things I’ve never achieved before, and to raise awareness and funds - but above all it’s been for those bereaved families devastated by the loss of their longed-for baby.
And this one, number 13, was especially for Malachi and his family.